Using various dating tools and apps is more or less a given these days. In theory it should make dating significantly easier. But in practice it’s brought up quite a few issues as well. None of the issues are insurmountable. But to get the best results you’re going to have to put in some prep work. And in particular, there’s ten points to consider before moving forward with the dates.
10. Decide what you’re looking for
Dating gives you a lot of choices. And one of the best parts of the modern experience is being able to narrow down your options to a very specific set of traits. But to take advantage of that you need to know what you actually want. Before going through the process you should consider exactly what you’re hoping to get out of the experience. And only then start actually using it.
9. Keeping costs down
Dating can be a surprisingly big investment. It always takes up time and can often take quite a bit of money as well. And it’s all for nothing if the date doesn’t work out. That’s why it’s best to keep both monetary and time related investments to a minimum. Don’t throw around money in an attempt to impress. Instead just go for something simple like coffee.
8. Sometimes that first date isn’t really a date
The term date can be thrown around a bit too easily. If two people haven’t met in person than it’s usually more of an interview process at first. The basic criteria matching narrows things down a little. Then both parties will want to see each other in person. The date that follows is usually going to be what most would consider a first date.
7. Work on keeping expectations low
Most people just aren’t compatible with each other. And what looks good cross indexed on a list won’t always click in reality. So make sure not to invest too much hope in things before actually meeting.
6. Ensure there’s an easy out
There’s few things worse than feeling trapped in a date with someone you just don’t want to be with. As such, it’s usually best to ensure you’ve prepared a reasonable way to get out of it early. From having a friend text to simply knowing that you’re in a place where getting up and heading out the door won’t be an issue.
5. Sometimes it’s you against the system
You should remember that the system itself benefits from use. It’s for the benefit of people as a whole and not necessarily you as an individual. You should consider just how it’s trying to match people up. What you think is a good match might not be what the algorithm does.
4. Get enough rest
Very few people get enough sleep every night. But if you’re going to pick one night to do it? Than you’ll want to pick the night before a date. This ensures you’ll be well rested and ready to have a good time.
3. Just be yourself
This is less important if you’re not looking for something long term. But if you are, it’s important that you avoid putting on too many false airs. Just be yourself since there’s really nothing to be gained from doing otherwise. You won’t want to maintain false airs for the rest of your life. So instead find someone who enjoys being around you when your guard is down.
2. Learn to look for red flags
Not everyone cultivates an honest approach to dating. People’s pictures are often carefully cultivated in a way that masks reality. Look out for headshots which hide someone’s body, framing an adventurous life that might only exist on a single vacation, baggy clothing and especially out of date images.
1. The rule of fun
Physical attraction is obviously an important part of dating. And something needs to click emotionally as well. But both of these aren’t something one can cultivate in the hours before a date. What one can do is calm down and concentrate on having a good time. When planning the date you should remember that if you’re having fun the other person has a good chance of picking up on the vibe. This, more than almost anything else, can really spark attraction. People like being with someone who can show them a good time.